Hi again log,

No, I haven't forgotten about you. But I only intend to write if I have something important to say or something I need to get off my chest. As you may have guessed, it's the latter. I guess I should start by saying that my speech in the last entry was pretty useless considering I haven't been out jogging yet, but I do have the workout plan hanging on my wall and my alarm is set to get me up early to go do it. The problem seems to be that it is just to easy to reset my alarm clock. go figure.

Well the reason I'm actually writing is because I had a revelation of sorts yesterday. I guess I should start from the beginning. For over a year now I've been studying to be a dual maritime ships officer. I think the education is far more exciting than anything else I've heard of and I still think that to tell you the truth.

Luckily I've had the chance to be on the ship and try out my future career first hand. I was on board for 3 months this spring. Now it's almost October and yesterday it finally hit me how much I don't want to go back to that ship. For months now I've been telling myself that it was just one bad experience and the possibilities after this education go far beyond the big blue sea anyways. But it still eats at me because I started this adventure with the idea I would one day be a captain and that would make me the happiest man in the world. Unless I can find a new reason for me to be here, I may have to pack my bags and go home.

I would literally have to go home, because this education is only available in Svendborg which is nothing compared to Copenhagen. I have plenty of friends and I don'tm mind the town in itself. But this summer I realised how much I love Copenhagen. I figured after I moved that I would slowly be forgotten by my old schoolmates and I would become less and less dependant on my parents. But it was just the opposite that happened, I can't believe how much I love these people and if they miss me anywhere near as much as I miss them, than it can't be easy.

Plus I know that my dad is going through a hard time right now. And strangely enough I kind of fell like I'm the only one that can help him. For me, it's rather apparant that he is hating life, and I can't blame him considering his father just died and his mother has cancer and he's simply not enjoying his new job one bit.

None of these reasons are enough for me to be a quitter. But working for 5 years to get something I don't want would make me stupid. I haven't made any decisions but right now I need to get my facts straight by talking with my school and my employer and finding out what my options are.

If you are wondering why I would call any of this a revalation, it would be the way I feel right now. My body is flowing with relief and I even plan to start my excersize program right after I finish writing this. I can't believe that I let myself rationalize into thinking that I was doing the right thing and quitting was not an option. THat fact is, there are many options and it's time for me to set my course in the right direction.

ttyl
Christian